Why Friendship?

I grew up oblivious to Kenya, oblivious to the inter-personal interactions that edged towards inter-ethnic conflict. I am told that my family was caught up in the clashes of 1992, and that I lived with my grandparents in the time that chaos overwhelmed the dusty town of Nakuru. But even then, I was too young for the memories to lay hold of me, to remind me that I could not grow up oblivious to Kenya.

My coming of age moment came in high school, quite late I must admit, perhaps it was also the time that it happened for many people, at least people who fall in my age category, 18-25. I was in Form Four at the time that the 2007-08 post-election violence, and I remember all to well the whispers in the corridors of Bruce House, the prayers offered up to God during 4 a.m. devotions, the observations from my friends, the fears and hopes that engulfed a nation. Everyone, I think, has a story about that time. Everyone who cares about Kenya, who has lived in Kenya, who knows someone close who claims to be from the country. I did not directly suffer any losses. I was safe for the entire period, and I am painfully aware what a privilege that is in this country. Months before, I had talked with a few young children in the area about the politics in Kenya. One child told me how he hated Raila Odinga. This shocked me, and since that day, I have kept wondering how our education has taught us to be Kenyan citizens, how friendship has taught us to look beyond the outer covering to the inner soul. I participated in drama and music festivals in high school, and such experiences filled me with great pride in the beautiful cultural make-up in Kenya. It sounds cliche, I know, but I fell for the narrative, the one that espouses Kenya to be a diverse landscape of peace and tranquility. Until my coming of age moment became coming to terms with this paradox: How we can take pride in both our ethnic and national identities yet live in the midst of great tension?

I have used my time in university to think about this paradox, to view it from all corners that I can, from the lenses that education has allowed me to explore. One of my professors told me to use my life to answer the question that keeps me up at night. I want to answer this question. I want to think and ask and research and explore, use my curiosity to engage friendship as a means of questioning my society, of understanding the place that I have called home for the last twenty-two years. I want to learn about friendships, because I have gained so much from my own, because friendship has sustained me, has allowed me to love someone who could look beyond me, could accept me just as I am, without the ethnic baggage, with the questions that keep me up at night.

I want to learn about your friendships. How has your experience been?